


Wrong Sister

by FreshBrains



Category: Orange is the New Black, Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Crack Crossover, Gen, Humor, Minor Violence, Orphan Is the New Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 12:18:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1857798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreshBrains/pseuds/FreshBrains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Alison lands in Litchfield Penitentiary, nobody knows exactly what she did to get there, and she looks exactly like a guy with a mullet Flaca made out with in Cabo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wrong Sister

“You see the new girl yet?”  Nicky leaned against the concrete wall of Red’s bunk.  “I’m probably gonna marry her, just sayin’.  She’s an easy nine.”

“I don’t care about new girl,” Red said, eyeing Nicky over her glasses.  “New girls come and go each day.”

“This one’s special,” Nicky said, plopping down on the bed next to Red.  “Boo says she’s seen her before.  Was in down south with her for a few months.  Apparently she’s some sort of bad-ass con-woman or somethin’.”

“I remain unimpressed,” Red said, still reading.  “Go tell your gossip to the babies.”

“Love yah, Ma,” Nicky said, smacking a kiss on Red’s cheek as she stood up.  “Wish me luck.”

*

“I saw you on the news,” Brook said, eyeing the new girl like she was some mythical creature.  “You killed your friend with a scarf.”

“Christ, Soso,” Nicky said, rolling her eyes.  “Keeping it subtle, I see.”  Nicky turned to the new girl.  “What’s your name, gorgeous?”

The girl looked over, eyes wide but face unafraid.  “Alison.  Or, Hendrix, I suppose.”

“How long you in for, Hendrix?”

“Ten months,” Alison said coolly, playing with the edge of her lunch tray.  “It’ll be a breeze compared to what’s waiting for me out there, though.”

“Are you in trouble with a man?” Yoga Jones leaned in, her tone understanding.

Alison pursed her lips, thinking for a moment.  “Not _bad_ , per se.  Complicated.  Strange.  And it’s more like one man and three women.  Well, then one evil woman.  And a scientist.”

Everyone at the table nodded, not sure what to say next.

“Are you married?” Sister Ingalls asked, attempting to steer the subject.

Alison smiled.  “Yes, happily so.  My husband Donnie and I have an…understanding.  He’ll be visiting twice a month.”

“Well that’s sweet,” Morello said, giving her a supportive smile.  “You’re a lucky woman.”

Nicky snorted.  “We’ll see how long it lasts.”

Alison smiled, but hid it quickly.  “Oh, trust me.  He’ll visit.  He’ll do whatever I want him to do after what I did for him.” She cleared her throat, reddening at the table full of women staring at her.  “Anyways.  This food is…lovely.  Who’s the cook?”

*

“I swear to _god_ , they must’ve been siblings.  I swear it.”  Flaca leaned over the stove to whisper to Mendoza.  “I made out with a guy during spring break in Cabo with a dude who looked _exactly_ like that new little _puta_.”

Mendoza sighed.  “Don’t tell me these things, I don’t want to hear them.”

“But isn’t that fuckin’ insane?  They look like the same person—same height, same eyes.  All the chick’s missing is a bad goatee and a mullet.”

Mendoza cringed.  “Somehow, that makes everything so much worse.”

*

“Excuse me?  Excuse me, do you have any other shampoo here?  I just…my hair gets so dry.” Alison tapped her bottom teeth with her finger, leaning in to look at what commissary had in stock.

Watson rolled her eyes.  “Come on, bitch, hurry it up.”

Alison whipped around, ponytail whacking against her cheek.  “Excuse me, I don’t appreciate the tone.  And if you’ll just wait your turn, that would be great, thank you.”

Watson wanted to sock her, but instead, she laughed.  “Hey, have you met Chapman yet?  You two’ll hit it off just fine.”

*

“Yeah, it’s probably best if I avoid her.” Alex hunched over, avoiding the small brunette cantering briskly through the cafeteria.

Piper paused mid-drink, setting her morning cup of coffee down.  “Oh god.  You fucked her.”

“Keep it down,” Alex said, laughing.  “It was a long time ago.  We got high together.  She was a total geek, like some super-smart scientist or something.  Hot as hell, though.”  Alex looked over, arching a dark eyebrow.  “Hm, I miss the dreadlocks.”

Piper grabbed Alex’s chin, turning her head around to face her again.  “Slow it down there, champ.  You can fuck her, but don’t come crying back to me when she kills you and buries you in her garage.”

“What the hell?” Alex pushed her tray away.

“That’s what I heard, at least.  She killed some scientist at point-blank range in her mini-van.”

Alex let out a deep exhale, impressed.  “Damn, Cosima’s changed a _lot_.”

*

“I knew it was you,” Red hissed, corning Alison near the bathrooms and wrapping a hand around her neck.  “You little bitch, think you can hide from _me_?”

Alison’s eyes widened as she tried not to panic.  “Who are _you_?”

“You think I don’t notice little assassin girls running around Little Russia?  You think I don’t notice you hunting girls down like dogs?”  Red tightened her grip.  “You disappeared, but I’d remember these eyes anywhere.”

Alison rolled her eyes and slammed her forehead against Red’s throwing the other woman off.  Red hissed, rubbing her head, a small trickle of blood sliding down her cheek.

“Wrong sister, ma’am,” Alison said, brushing herself off before she walked away.

*

Taystee held Poussey’s arms back, but the other woman kept swinging, the rest of the girls in the rec room cheering for her.  “You better calm down before they put you in SHU,” she hissed in Poussey’s ear.  “What the hell is wrong with you, anyways?”

Poussey pointed to Alison, who was balled up in the corner with a giant bruise forming on her arm from where Poussey got a swing in.  “That’s the bitch who put me in here, man!  She’s the one who cuffed me and everything!”

“You’re in _our_ house now, pig,” Cindy crowed, leaning back in her chair to watch.

“Let me at her, give her a taste of what we go through,” Poussey yelled, itching for a fight, but Taystee held on.

Alison held her hands up in defense.  “Wrong sister!  That was Beth!  And she’s dead!”

Poussey paused.  “Wow, really?  For real?”

Alison nodded, still crumpled on the floor.  “I was just a soccer mom.”

*

“I think we would all be better off if we were allowed nicer towels, and perhaps better mattresses,” Alison said, smiling politely at Caputo.  “I’m just looking out for the needs of the other prisoners.  I think I could really make some changes in here.”

Caputo sighed, rubbing his temples.  “Have you met Chapman yet, Hendrix?”

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry, Donnie and Clone Club break Alison out and they all run off into the sunset together.


End file.
